Why Did You FIRE (QUIT) and Not Your Wife?
If I can get a dollar everytime this question is asked, perhaps this can be my new source of passive income! Haha.
It tends to get even weirder when I mentioned that we lost 60% of our household income as most people's reaction will be "WHAT?!!? Then why did u quit??" This is how I explained to my friends.
1. My wife loves her job. She's been with the company for more than 15 years already. I told her no, she will not be my slave and she lives her life as normal and however she wants if she stops working. She respectfully declined. I respected her decision. LOL.
2. Her company's WFH policy is extremely liberal and flexible. If my wife quit her job, the kids would have lost 90% of me due to my travelling. So just imagine we parents are 1+1. However, due to work, the time we have for them becomes 0.1 (me)+0.9 (wife). If I quit instead, the kids will have 0.9 +0.7 parents.
3. I am a more flexible and adaptable worker compared to my wife. We agreed that it will be easier for me to return to the work force compared to her.
4. Thus I respected her decision though it is not common in the asian context that the guy is not working. I feel that parenting responsibilities are not solely on the mother. Fathers have equal responsibilities. We agree that having "more" parents around will be beneficial for the kids and the family compared to having more money in the bank.
Have I lost you by now? Most of the friends i spoke to will be stuck at the point when we talked about me losing of 60% household income. The rest will just be white noise to them.
What are your thoughts on parenting? And are you and your partner aligned in terms of what how you all want to approach FI/RE?
It's always more just than the money. If the majority of people love their jobs, FIRE wouldn't be a thing.
ReplyDeleteWouldnt it be better to downscale on the job, rather than totally FIRE? There are many contract jobs that offer 2-3 days workweek.
ReplyDeleteI thought of it but i ended up becoming a realtor. Some say not the smartest move.
DeleteTotally agreed with your point of view to spend more time with family and the kids, as well as husband should also bear the responsibility in the parenting. However, if I were you I wouldn't be so brave as you to totally go FIRE although there is 1+Mil in the portfolio. Most probably will change job which doesn't require frequent travelling and if best WFH type. Looking forward for more sharing from you.
DeleteHaha my job is a realtor now loh. Haha though it's not money making, yet.
Deletei am a dad of 2 boys , was retrenched in 2017 and decided to be a full time parent while my kids are still in pre-school. I faced lots of criticism from family and friends but i think i enjoyed the time spent with my kids. i had a hard time explaining to employers though when i said i became a full-time parent. The first stereotyping question they asked was, why didnt your wife become a full-time parent instead of you? Thankfully though, i managed to find employment in 2019.
ReplyDeleteThankfully I didnt face with criticism from anyone though some did give me the weird look. I was very upfront with my future employers with regards to why I left my company. I even wrote it in my resume. haha. So during interviews, it wasnt that awkward. It's always good to spend more time while the kids are still at a young age.
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